About Me

I thought you might be interested in finding out more about the person responsible for this lousy website so I've completed this brief C.V. for you...

Name: Robert Wells

Age: 36

Sex: Would "Yes please!" be too obvious?

Height: About 6'1"

Weight: Varies dramatically.

Marital Status: Don't you just hate it when you fill out a form and the only options in the Marital Status category are Married, Single, Widowed or Divorced? I always have to tick the Single box, giving millions of girls the wrong impression, when a Living With Partner (for 11 years now) box would really be much more appropriate but is rarely on any forms, even in this day and age.

Occupation: Cartoonist / comic dealer / hero for hire (hero for hire business currently on hold due to bad back).

Location: Kent, United Kingdom

Disposition: Extremely grumpy.

Condition Of Bowels: Fucked.

Mutant Abilities: No sense of smell, fucked bowels (see above).

Hobbies: Losing lots of weight and then putting it all back on again, wasting hours looking up stuff on the internet, having great ideas that never really seem to come to anything, grumbling about aches and pains.

Aches and Pains: Don't get me started.

Published Comics: Crisp Biscuit #1 (1991), Crisp 1-3 (1997-1999), The Devil's Daughter (1998), The Plot Thickens #3 (five page strip called "The Waste Of Space", written by Gavin Burrows, 2004), Colin Comix #1 (2004).

Group Affiliations: Comics Creators Guild, S-Club Juniors (I'm the tall one), Justice League Of Orpington (J-Lo for short).

Favourite Book: Food Combining For Health, that book changed my fucking life (although the Palomar collection by Gilbert Hernandez comes a very close second, the stories in that book are my favourite comics ever and I would recommended buying a copy to absolutely anyone).

Irrational phobias: Cows, horses, pretty much any other large animal that could turn nasty and trample me while I'm walking through a field minding my own business, little bits of string, those small sticky labels that you get in new clothes that you don't notice until you find one caught up in your pubes or something, leaving the house more than once every six months.

Turn Ons: Big tits.

Turn Offs: My big tits.